A storytime I wish I had the guts to do.

I was doing the best storytime EVER today (seriously - these kids were uber into it. It was massive, though. Friday storytimes always are ... ), and one of the books I read was Froggie Gets Dressed which is part of my dream storytime. A storytime I don't quite have the guts to do quite yet (I've only been at my job since September. Wait until they know me a bit better. (: ), but someday. Oh yes, someday. It'll be awesome.

SO! What is in your dream storytime, Miss Pirate, you may ask? Well I'll tell you!

It starts, as you may have guessed, with Froggie Gets Dressed by Johnathan London. Always start with the longest book, IMHO, while their attention spans are still unused. Froggie gets up in the middle of winter (a big no no in his hibernating froggie family) and keeps running out into the snow missing important pieces of clothing. His mother keeps calling him back to put on whatever he's missing, culminating in her screaming across the snow that he forgot his "UNDERWEAR!" TONS of giggles everytime I scream that out. Seriously. You want to make a room full of three year olds beyond happy? Just scream "UNDERPANTS!" at them. In that vein, we will be continuing with ...


Aliens Love Underpants by Claire Freedman and Ben Cort. The pictures in this book are just beyond giggle worthy, and the rhyming text is brilliant. See, aliens don't come to earth for any of the reasons most people surmise (to eat our brains, commune with our culture, steal our nitrogen or whatnot), but to steal our underpants. Oh, this is where my book rambling without having the book in front of me is going to come back to bite me, right? Because I would love to flip through the book right now and tell you about all the fantastic things the aliens DO with our underpants, but the few I can remember are them making a slide out of grandpa's wolly long johns and ... I think they make a parachute out of someone's massive bloomers? Maybe? But trust me! You want to check it out.

We end, of course, with Chicken Cheeks by Michael Ian Black and Kevin Hawkes. Animals are piled on top of each other and WE get to know what wonderfully alliterative or rhyming thing Michael Ian Black calls their arses. Chicken Cheeks, of course, but I think Moose Caboose was my favorite. Maybe bumblebee bum? Either way - this fantastic book. And the best part? The last page ... "The Ends!" Oh, wonderful fantasticness.

So yes, I have the same sense of humor as a middle school boy and think the best thing to do in the whole wide world is have a storytime on underpants and butts. You know what? I like my sense of humor, thank you very much! And someday I am going to make the best ever underpants or keister themed flannels and find some amazing underpants or keister themed storytime songs and then the STORYTIME OF AWESOME will unleash itself upon an unsuspecting public ...

AND THE WORLD WILL BE BETTER FOR IT!

(: