I'm not really here

I'm working on my final essay. I really am! I just had to pop in and tell you what a lovable dork my husband is. I went to the kitchen to get brain food chocolate, and when I come back, after what I've written on my essay it says, "IÂ'm a bumbely bag of coconuts." This was fifteen minutes ago and he's still giggling about it.

Now lets talk about why the world suddenly hates me

I'm not entirely sure why it does, but it definitely does. Something has caused the world to hate me. I have examples! Oh yes, I have examples. Most of them center around my job - which, it occurs to me, I have never blogged about. It might sadden some of you to know that while I will soon (SOON!) be a librarian, I currently make my living being neither a librarian nor a pirate. I don't shush people nor do I buckle swashes. We weep. We weep more because I work retail. It's how I'm getting through grad school, though, and most of the time I enjoy it (because I try to be hopelessly optimistic.

Anyway - the world hates me. I HAVE PROOF!

1. Yesterday at work I was rearranging things. I was taking things off of shelves and putting things back on shelves and moving shelves. It was insanity, I tell you, INSANITY! We have these impossible sort of shelves that are near impossible to move. They have these hooks that latch in and the more weight you put on them, the more solidly they stick into the proper holes. To get them out you have to hit the bottom of them with a rubber mallet. I am usually not strong enough to get them out, so I usually get help. I had moved something heavy off of the top shelf that had been there for a good two months or so. I moved heavy things off the bottom shelves. I then looked under the middle shelf to see how many pegs up it is when the top shelf just suddenly decides to fall. It hits me on the head, drags it's sharp edge down my arm, and lands with a thump on my thumb. OW!
2. It has been 60 degrees here every day. Today was the day I had to be at work by 5:45 am (that's right, you. AM!!!!) to do truck outside - I was not excited about the early morning, but I was trying to be happy because today was supposed to be gorgeous and I had to be outside for an hour or so right away! Finally - I'd get to see the sun! What did I get while unloading the truck? HAIL! It hailed this morning.
   
3. We're done unloading - JOY OF LIFE! My shoe became untied, so I bent to tie it, lost my balance, and fell into a box of wine glasses. I only broke one, but it was one of the pretty ones! Made me sad.
   
4. Later today I was bringing a ladder out from the back so I could bring some chairs down from the top shelves for a customer. When I was halfway there, this little boy runs in front of me and scared the everloving SNOT out of me - I was afraid the ladder was going to hit him. Instead, I dropped the ladder on my hip bone - bruising it darkly, along the way bruising the crap out of my side as the ladder scraped its way down my body.
5. Then I went to lunch. MMM - I'm slightly obsessed with Chipotle. There is one across the street from where I work and I only allow myself to go there once a week - otherwise I wouldn't leave. So guess who drops her burrito today? Oh, that would be me.
6. Back from lunch, I declare that I am not going to cause any more trouble today - and promptly trip over a basket of glasses that my coworker had just moved off of a shelf and was about to put on a different shelf. I left two intact, I am pleased to announce.

But things are looking up. My husband made me

a beautiful origami butterfly yesterday that is sitting there just making me happy, and tonight I get to eat the tastiest looking fruit salad in the world.

So my sister mentioned That Catholic Guilt Thing when she doesn't post every day. Just imagine what the Catholic Guilt Thing has been doing me for over two weeks pretty much!

So we're going to skip over the apologies and get straight to important things that have happened to me recently, starting with the absolute most important.

• MY HUSBAND GOT A NEW JOB!!! I have purposefully not blogged about how craptastic his job is currently, because once I start complaining about it I have trouble stopping. He is still a waiter, but at a much better restaurant. His old job was in a bad part of town where he got an average of 7% in tips, which is just pathetic. His new job is right downtown and at a super fun restaurant. I'm very happy for him.
• Brandon got me an Easter Basket that had in it peanut butter M&Ms, French Vanilla Pudding mix, Chef Boyardee raviolli, and pear juice. I loved it.
• I think I'm going to contact PETA about my husband. When I ate my chocolate Easter bunny, I decapitated it right away before taking one bite. Quick, painless, over. The lovely man I married purposefully saves that for last, eating the head after everything else to prolong the anguish. What do you think? Should I send PETA a letter? (I wonder if they hate Easter for just this reason)

Anyway - here's hoping everyone out there is wonderful! Stay tuned for more book reviews!

Fantastic Firsts #3 - Gregor the Overlander

Collins, Suzanne. Gregor the Overlander. New York: Scholastic Press, 2003.

I don't know about you, but every time I read the title, I get Depeche Mode's "John the Revelator" stuck in my head:
Well who's that shouting?
Gregor the Overlander!
All he ever gives us is pain
Well who's that shouting?
Gregor the Overlander!
He should bow his head in shame

I probably have issues ... but on to the book! Gregor the Overlander is part Alice in Wonderland, part Neverwhere, and pretty much all fantastic.

Two years, seven months, and thirteen days after his father disapears, 11 year old Gregor is doing laundry with his baby sister Boots. Being of that exploratory age, Boots finds that one of the grates opens, and when Gregor rushes to stop her from falling, they are both sucked down into the Underland - a land miles and miles below the surface of the earth. There they meet giant cockroaches (crawlers), rats (gnawers), bats (flyers), spiders (spinners), as well as an entire city full of humans. After being taken in by the humans, Gregor discovers that he just might be the fufillment of a prophesy, and that his father is being held captive by the rats. Thus he sets out on a perlious journey to save his father, and if the prophesy happens to follow him, so be it.

Gregor the Overlander was great. The character of Boots is just full of that childish wisdom that I'm a sucker for, and the characters are brilliantly done. I was finishing up this book just before class one night and I ended up sobbing right there in the hallway, because I really just loved all the characters.

I've had a rough week, so this review is going to be a bit short, but definately check this one out! I very much enjoyed it!