Wednesday, March 21, 2007

good morning

My dreams rarely have any bearing on reality and since becoming pregnant that tenuous grasp has completely broken. My dreams no longer have any bearing on the reality that they themselves create. I had a dream awhile ago - the craziest so far - that I had determined not to share here - probably out of embarrassment. I told my sister about it when she came up last week and she immediately told me I should blog that. Whether it's because she wanted to get me back into blogging or because the dream is really as hysterical as I think (and not as embarrassing as I think), here you go!

The dream begins with me in high school, doing high schooly things. I have a huge crush on a guy in the marching band so I ask him out on a date. His response is that instead of going out, how about we get engaged? For some reason, this seems like a brilliant idea to me. Suddenly the dream shifts and I am myself currently. I'm not pregnant, but I am decidedly married to Brandon and very much out of high school. The fiancee has morphed from generic guy in a high school marching band into my female second cousin - B.

This is a conundrum. I do not want to marry my cousin for many reasons. Chief among them is the fact that I am already married to a man I am desperately in love with. Let's not forget the fact that I am not into marrying cousins and the fact that I'm straight.

Everybody's reaction to B. and my engagement is very strange. Brandon is not upset at all - he just wants me to fix it. My family has no problem with my impending bigamy, incest, or discomfort, they just want me to be happy. For my part, I'm just trying to find a way to get out of the engagement without hurting B. The main problem lies in the fact that I love B. because she's my cousin, and I don't want this failed relationship to break our family apart.

Unfortunately I woke up before I could solve the problem because now I'm interested to see how it would have turned out.


After all that typing about and thinking about Lacan earlier, I find it harder and harder to return to my paper on disaster preparedness for libraries. Back in college my friends and I used to frequent this adorable tea room in Burlington, VT and we'd act all beatnik and discuss things like Foucault and Lacan and Derrida and pretend we were all sophisticated (or sometimes we'd play zombies [Dead Zombie!] or Chez Geek [justifiable homicide!] and know that we aren't sophisticated at all). I had a friend write a 50 page paper on the Lacanian imagery in the Lord of the Rings movies. That was fun. It's hard to go from thinking about super heady stuff to writing a paper on exactly why a library should have a plan in place for when disaster strikes. How weird is that? The work that has tons of practical applications vs the theoretical work that has little to no bearing on my world right now and which am I interested in? The one that is least helpful to my world right now.


We forgot to reset our TV clock for Daylight Savings time, so I haven't seen Lost yet. It will be up at tonight, but I'm impatient! I want to know why Lock is in a wheelchair now! But don't tell me if you know ... I'll watch it after class ...

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